Christmas is here, where did the time go?
Got to load up the reindeer, put on my red suit and go
I use to like Christmas, but every year it gets worse
Gettin' gift to six billion people is just too much damn work

Got the Christmas blues, man this job is killin' me
And most of these stupid new houses don't even have chimneys

I use to be jolly, now I'm depressed
Had a twinkle in my eye, now I've got a bullet proof vest
Cuz if the pace don't kill me, some gun totin' yahoo will
They keep on shootin' at me like I'm some sort of big fat red criminal

Got the Christmas blues, I'm starting to see
That I gotta be some sort of loser to get paid in milk and cookies

Man, I hate kids, especially their letters
Cuz I always give 'em some stuff, man, but they always say they want somethin' better
Well, maybe I'm getting cranky cuz I'm gettin' old
But I just feel like giving all them stupid little brats great big lumps of coal

I got the Christmas blues, man, enough's enough
Next year you can find some other sucker to deliver all this stuff
I got the Christmas blues, I tell you, I'm gonna quit
Gonna find me a steady job with good benefits

Ho ho ho? I don't think so!