(Vic Chesnutt)
dogs are barking, birds are chirping
the only thing better if I was squirting
but there's no one here to love on me today

for the maiden's on holiday
for the maiden's on holiday
I'm a sorry, sorry knight in a horrible castle
hoping to avoid certain societal hassles
and I know what they say
but I ain't made of clay
for the maiden's on holiday
yeah, the maiden's on holiday
I ain't nothing but chivalrous
ain't never been nothing nasty between us
she knows where she stands
on the heart of a broken man
I'm gonna be bad no matter what
so I might as well go on ahead
and act like a butt
any ol' way, yeah, I'm still gonna pay
for the maiden's on holiday
yeah, the maiden's on holiday