Debbie: I have heard, among this clan, you are called the forgotten man.
Iggy: Is that what they're saying? Well, did you evah!
Both: What a swell party this is!

Iggy: And have you heard the story of a boy, a girl, unrequited love?

Debbie: Sounds like pure soap opera. I may cry.
Iggy: Aw...
Both: What a swell party this is!

Iggy: What frails!
Debbie: What cocks!
Iggy: What broads!
Debbie: What jocks...
Iggy: What furs! They're beautiful!
Debbie: Why, I've never seen such...
Both: yuppity!
Debbie: Neither did I.
Iggy: It's all just too...
Both: swellegant!

Debbie: This French champagne...
Iggy: (Domestic!)
Debbie: so good for the brain.
Iggy: That's what I was gonna say!
Debbie: Well, you know you're a brilliant fellow.
Iggy: Thank you, I am!
Debbie: Hehe, drink up Jim.

Iggy: So... have you ever been out to L.A. lately?
Debbie: Well no, not recently.
Iggy: Well, I went there and had a rent-a-car and all...
Debbie: Oh, really?
Iggy: Yeah and I got invited to Pia's house... Pia Zadora's house...
Debbie: Really? Oh.
Iggy: Yeah.
Debbie: Was it nice?
Iggy: Well, I didn't... I didn't go!
Debbie: Oh! Hehe.
Iggy: It woulda been swell though!
Debbie: Shoulda gone!
Iggy: It woulda been elegant!
Debbie: Elegant.
Oh wait, look... look who's coming in now... can you believe it?
Iggy: ...I hear they dismantled Pickfair.
Debbie: They did.
Iggy: It wasn't elegant enough. Hehe!
Debbie: Yeah. Probably full of termites.
Iggy: Yeah.

Both: It's great!
It's grand!
Wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wonderland!
La la la la la la la la la la la la la.
We sing so rare, like old Camembert.

Iggy: Have you heard the dying star - she got bit in the Astar bar.
Debbie: Sauced again! Well, did you evah...
Both: What a swell party this is!

Have you heard?
It's in the stars.
Next July we collide with Mars.
Well did you evah!

What a swell party.
What a swell party.
What a swellegant elegant, (sm) party...
Debbie: Smarty?
Iggy: Party... yeah!
Debbie: A smarty party?
Iggy: I am! A smarty! I'm pretty smart!
Debbie: You are a smarty for coming to this party.
Iggy: Yeah, that's right!
Debbie: Well piss off.
Iggy: Hehehe, that's good! I like that.