[Sang by Scroda Moon, The Toilet, Oderus Urungus, Slymenstra Hymen, and Beefcake The Mighty]

[Scroda:]

GWAR, I bring forth the portal potty
Coming to feed on the shit from your bodies.
Your turds have more power than mere human feces
Let's use it's great power to recover the pieces

[The Toilet:]

Hey! Hey jackass!
Yea You!
You got to love me sooo good!
Yea, yea you can depend on me
Depending on, if my water's on...
if my pipe's unglogged...
Ahhhhh if you're water-logged...
Baby, I am the hole I am your toilet bowl I'll suck your soul
Just pay... just pay my shitty toll! ahhhh.

[Scroda:]

Coated in shit I give all you desire
Mystical doorway swimming in mire
We'll use the plunger if blockage won't budge
It's a door through the plane of fudge

[Oderus:]

So many times I have found you, still I always piss on the ground
Now that I can use you I'm gonna stop fucking around
If you need shit, then I got shit
On that you can depend I'll pump your stump,
you fuckin' hump, my crappy, crap-caked friend

[All:]

The Portal Potty, a gift from the gods
Let's pay it tribute and bury our wads

[Beefcake:]

I think we know what it's all about.
Jiggle the handle and watch something jump out.

[Slymenstra:]

I am a woman and I have my needs.
You can never really know just where or when I'll bleed
You need my egg, I need your seed
But pray at the altar, the toilet must feed!

[Toilet:]

Yea, I'll bring ya some suckers for a killing spree
Just keep that fucking tampon away from me.

[Slymenstra:]

Take in this world, it's sooo beautiful...
Filthy humans, you're all so full of it...
That which you can't stand you can't understand
Speak the mystic words and bring forth
a turd you turn around into it and turn over to me.

[Oderus:]

Cross the river, leave the abyss
Give the seat of the toilet a kiss

[Beefcake:]

Each Virgin sacrifice speaks these magic words.
Well, Jiggle the handle, and call forth a turd.

[Toilet:]

Yea! Here it comes baby,
I'm dropping my load
I'm ain't just on it,
I am the commode! Ahhh!

[Scroda:]

The power of the toilet must never be abused
He must be plunged, he must be sponged, or carnage could ensue.
If a dead sheep had clogged him, who knows what could arrive.
Maybe it will bring the Master here, wouldn't that be a surprise!