Big lizard in my backyard
Can't afford to feed him anymore
Big lizard in my backyard
Bustin' down my neighbor's door
I bought a big lizard

Only a dollar fifty
Well that's pretty neat
Yeah it's fucking nifty
But I just can't afford to feed it
And you should see the way it shits

I've got a big lizard in my backyard
Can't afford to feed it anymore
Big lizard in my backyard
Bustin' down my neighbor's door

I was knocked out of bed
Late last night
I was woken up by the sound of dynamite
I ran downstairs to find an army man
He said "We gotta blow up those things we don't understand!"

No more big lizard in my backyard
I won't have to feed it anymore
No more lizard in my backyard
They shipped his ass to El Salvador

I got knocked out of bed
Late last night
I was woken up by the sound of dynamite
I ran downstairs to find an army man
He said "We gotta blow up those things we don't understand!"

Big lizard in my backyard
Can't afford to feed it anymore
Big lizard in my backyard
Bustin' down my neighbor's door
Well, I bought a big lizard
Only a dollar fifty
That's pretty neat
Yeah it's fucking nifty
But I, I just can't afford to feed it