I saw Mrs. Parker at the store today,
she was buyin' some food
I walked up to her and I said "Hey!"
"When's the baby due?"

She said "Baby?"
"I'm not having a baby,"
"what you talkin' about?"
I said "Sorry... Mrs. Parker"
I put my foot in my mouth

(chorus)
I got my foot in my mouth,
guess I should watch what I say,
I got my foot in my mouth,
it's prob'ly better that way

I took my brother to the mall last Christmas,
to see Santa and his sleigh,
I said "Aren't you glad that you're old enough,"
"to know that Santa is fake?"

He said "Fake? Santa's not fake!"
"What you talkin about?"
I said "No, I didn't tell ya Santa was fake!"
"I said...Santa's great..."
I put my foot in my mouth

(chorus)

"here's the last verse"

I was braggin' to a friend of mine
how I ran over this cat,
I said "His name was fluffy, cause I read the tag..."
"right after I squashed him flat"

She said "Fluffy? My cat's name is Fluffy! He was my best friend."
I said "No, I didn't say his name was Fluffy!"
"I said his name was... Twinkles"
here I go again...

(chorus x2)