(Nate Albert/Dicky Barrett/Bosstones)

I've heard all the stories, the failure and glories
I haven't had either
Boast and toast I'm the best and I'm a mess

I know I'm not neither
Thought I was down as far as any man could go,
Thought my highs were giant size
I know now that's not so
I know you heard, know you heard, know you heard,
Don't believe a word, not a word, one word
It's been overblown, the truth should be known
'til now I couldn't see
Put my cards on the table while I'm still able,
I guess I really don't know how to party
It's blown out of whack,
The truth is what's lacking, 'til now I couldn't see
The long and the short I'd like to report,
I guess I really don't know how to party
Really don't by any shape or form
Whether straight up in the sunshine
or passed out in the storm
Don't know how but now I know I don't
Will it help me out? No, it probably won't
Ten nine ain't no hero number one at bad behavior
Five, four, three, two, what? not zero
Don't go counting on a savior
I was playing it safe when I'd fall on my face
Entertainment was what I was after,
Harmless fun, no damage done
I was out and about for the laughter
Thought I was some-thing
Really something no one was gonna touch
Ace in the place, kingpin of sin I didn't know too much
Don't believe everything you've heard,
Don't believe a solitary word
It's been overblown, the truth should be known,
'til now I couldn't see
Put my cards on the table while I'm still able
I guess I really don't know how to party
Really don't by any shape and form
Whether straight up in the sunshine
or passed out in a storm,
Don't know how but now I know I don't
Will it help me out, no it probably won't
I don't have a notion and I don't have a clue,
An iota or an inkling where to start or what to do
The foggiest, the faintest, the slightest I ain't got
Will it help me out?
Nah, probably not