If I was with a woman, she'd wonder what was happening
Little things would slowly go askew
If I was with a woman, I'd make her quite unhappy
Specially when she did not want me to

If I was with a woman, I'd make believe I loved her
All the time I would not like her much
If I was with a woman, she'd soon become unsettled
I'd show her but I would not let her touch

Look at them laughing
Look at them laughing
Look at them laughing
Laughing, laughing

If I was with a woman, I'd never ask her questions
But if she did not want me to I would
If I was with a woman, I'd offer my indifference
And make quite sure she never understood

Oh, if I was with a woman, I'd threaten to unload her
Every time she asks me to explain
Oh, if I was with a woman, she'd have to learn to cherish
The purity and depth of my disdain

Look at them laughing
Look at them laughing
Look at them laughing
Laughing, laughing

I've been with a woman, she took away my spirit
No woman's coming close to me again
Oh, I've been with a woman, she took away my spirit
No woman's coming close to me again

Look at them laughing
Look at them laughing
Look at them laughing
Laughing, laughing