Key:
-Conway
~Loretta
*together

-You're the reason I'm a-ridin' around
on recapped tires.

~And you're the reason I'm hangin' our clothes
outside on wires.

*And you're the reason our kids are ugly,
little darlin'
Ah, but looks ain't ev'rythin'
and money ain't ev'rythin'
But I love you just the same.

-You're the reason I've changed to beer
from soda pop.

~And you're the reason I never get to go
to the beauty shop.

*You're the reason our kids are ugly,
little darlin'
Ah, but looks ain't ev'rythin'
and money ain't ev'rythin'
But I love you just the same.

*I guess that we won't ever have
Everything we need
Cause when we get "ahead"
It's got another mouth to feed...

~And that's the reason that my good looks
and my figure is gone.

-And that's the reason that I ain't got
no hair to comb.

*And you're the reason our kids are ugly,
little darlin'
Ah, but looks ain't ev'rythin'
and money ain't ev'rythin'
But I love you just the same...

(Fading Out)
~Conway, why in the devil don't you go and shave and put on a clean pair of pants?

-But Loretta, look at yourself. Now I wish you'd take them curlers out of your hair and go put on a little makeup and get out of that housecoat before supper...

~Ha, well let me tell you something, Conway, considerin' everything that i went through today, I look like a movie star.

-Eh-he-yeah, Ruth Buzzie.

~Thankyee.

-Besides that, all our kids took after your part of the family, anyway...

~Oh they did, huh? What abouts the ones that's Bald?

-*Laughs* Well I guess you could say they take after me...*laughs*

~*laughs*