(I wrote the lyrics as I heard them in the southern country vernacular so they may be considered misspelled.)
Album: Heartsongs
PMS Blues
Dolly Parton

Eve, you wicked woman, you done put your curse on me.
Why didn't you just leave that apple hanging in the tree.
You make us hate our husbands, our lovers and our boss.
Why I can't even count the good friends I've already lost.
Oh those
PMS Blues. PMS Blues
I don't even like myself but its something I can't help.
I got those god almighty, slap somebody
PMS Blues.

Most times I'm easy going.
Some say I'm good as gold.
But when I PMS, I turn mean and cold.
Those not afflicted with it, are affected just the same.
You poor ol' men
just have to grin
and say I feel your pain.
PMS Blues
Right Bubba. But what else are you gonna say.
PMS Blues
LORD, LORD, you know you must forgive us
cause we care not what we do.
I got those can't stop crying, dishes flying
PMS Blues.

But you know that we can't help it.
We don't even know the cause.
But as soon as this parts over then comes that menopause.
OH, LORD, I 'm gonna always be a heap of fun.
Like the devil taking over my body.
Suffering. Suffering. Suffering.
Everybody's Suffering. OH.

But a woman had to write this song, a man would be scared to
Lest he be called a chauvinist or just fall victim to those
PMS Blues.
You know we'd kill for less than that.
PMS Blues. OH HO.

You don't want to cross my path, cause a pit bull ain't no match
For these teeth a'clinching, fluid retention, head a'swelling, can't stop yelling
Got no patience. I'm so hateful
PMS Blues.

Pre-Menstrual Syndrome.
Got those mood's a swinging, tears a'slinging,
nothing fits me when it hits me,
Rantin', Ravin', Misbehavin'
PMS Blues

Can you witness.....
You women wanna witness...
Aw, tell it sister.
Tell it sister as only you know how.

You men wanna witness....
Aw, tell it brother.
Tell it cause you sure knowt what I'm talking about. HA!

You little kids. You wanna witness.
You wanna talk about that mean ol' devil momma of yours.
I said the KIDS. You mommas stay out of this, you done enough to them kids already.
Come on Kids, witness. You are safe with your friend Dolly.

Its the only time in my life I ever think about wishing I'd been a man.
But you know that only leaves one thing.
Because if I had been a man, I'd be somewhere right this very minute with some ole cranky, naggin', raggin', hateful woman with those
PMS Blues. PMS Blues.
I don't wanna talk about it.
We both could do without it.
I got those
Shoot your kids bad,
don't you talk back
go ballistic,
unrealistic
Awful, lowdown, Bitch to be around
PMS Blues.
BOO HOO HOO..............
Oh, what are you looking at.
BLUES.