Why is everybody always pickin' on me?The morn' that I was born my old man beat up the doctorHe clocked the doctor cause the doctor said I looked like ChewbaccaThe doctor said sir you're misled sir which infers you mistook meI did not mean your lovely wife was shackin' up with a wookieWhat I mean is Wolverine is less hairy than your sonHe's looks like Chewie Baba Booey Baba Booey and Hong Kong Phooey allin oneTo put it mild your new-born child's completely nutty fu-fu lookin'I'd shove him back into the oven until he is done cookin'But why's everybody always pickin' on me?Cause my fifteen year-old cousin has less acneBut why's everybody always pickin' on me?Ain't brushed them teeth since 1983But why's everybody always pickin' on me?Cause you got the grooming habits of a chimpanzeeBut why's everybody always pickin' on me?Cause you're white but you got a nose like Bill CosbyWhy's everybody always pickin' on me?Always pickin' and rippin' apart poor ol' Jimmy Pop AliI got a schnoz like the 'Cos' but there's a lot more wrong with youSo back me up Bill yea and you're ugly tooSo what if I brush my teeth with a piece of cheddar cheeseOr where a fish net shirt by Chams with my Sergio Valenti jeansAnd my mirror never lies but it always verifiesI got more cheese and pepperoni than a homemade pizza pieYou compare me to a Monchichi but I don't understandWhy I'm scorned like I'm deformed like the Elephant ManAnd yea I took my mom to the prom but hey she asked me firstBut at least this time I didn't find my date in the back of a hearseAbout as popular with the girls with Englebert HumperdinkAnd that might be 'cause everybody calls me Shrinky DinkI know I'm known as Polaroid I'm not a total retardIt's cause I'm done in sixty seconds and you'll still want it enlargedBut why's everybody always pickin' on me?Cause ya wore velour flares until the late EightiesBut why's everybody always pickin' on me?Cause you run like a girl and sit down to peeBut why's everybody always pickin' on me?Cause your only school chum was the lunch ladyBut why's everybody always pickin' on me?You took your mom to the prom but still got luckyLike that episode where Gilligan gets sick of being teasedAnd he breaks into the Professor's lab and makes some LSDPeaks freaks and eats the Skipper's brains then beats Ginger withcoconutsAs Mr. Howell and Lovey burn alive inside their grass hutOh he'll kill again that Gilligan they he should of let him beAnd like a postal clerk I'll go berserk if you don't stop teasing meSee the trick is only pick on those that can't do you no harmLike the drummer from Def Leppard's only got one armThe drummer from Def Leppard's only got one armThe drummer from Def Leppard's only got one armThe drummer from Def Leppard's only got one armThe drummer from Def Leppard's only got one armThe drummer from Def Leppard's only got one armThe drummer from Def Leppard's only got one armThe drummer from Def Leppard's only got one armThe drummer from Def Leppard's only got one armBut why's everybody always pickin' on me?Cause my fifteen year-old cousin has less acneBut why's everybody always pickin' on me?Ain't brushed them teeth since 1983But why's everybody always pickin' on me?Cause you got the grooming habits of a chimpanzeeBut why's everybody always pickin' on me?Cause you're white but you got a nose like Bill CosbyBut why's everybody always pickin' on me?Cause ya wore velour flares until the late EightiesBut why's everbody always pickin' on me?Cause you run like a girl and sit down to peeBut why's everbody always pickin' on me?Cause your only school chum was the lunch ladyBut why's everbody always pickin' on me?Cause no one likes you monkey boy