Down in Lawrence town by the river Kaw
Is the rockin'-est band you ever heard or saw
You won't need earplugs
'Cuz it's just five mugs
Makin' jug band jazz without any jugs

They've got songs a-plenty
Clean and dirty
Blue and sporty
From maybe circa
Nineteen-twenty
Or thirty
Or forty
Oh, Lordy!
It's Al Trout's Hokum Washboard Band
And you can hear the leader daily
Playin' on his ukulele
He leads them through the streets to sing
And do that string band thing
They've got a stand-up bass
That'll rock the place
'Cuz it's in yo' face
(bunga bunga bunga bunga)
The guitar's Hawaiian
When it starts cryin'
You'll lose your mind in the pale moonshine
Sister Rebekah
She's a washboard wrecker
With a nimble thimbled hand
They've only got one fiddle
'Cuz it ain't Nelson Riddle
It's Al Trout's Hokum Washboard Band!
Oh, look out!
[instrumental chorus]
They'll kick yo' ass
'Cuz it ain't bluegrass
It's Al Trout's Hokum Washboard Band
It's fat and naughty
But it ain't Pavarotti
It's Al Trout's Hokum Washboard Band
They've all got white flesh
But it ain't John Tesh
It's Al Trout's Hokum Washboard Band
Al Trout's Hokum (scratch, scratch) Band!
Thank you, thank you very much