my cat died and I quickly poured myself some gin
did she die from old age or was it for my sins
god I loved her oh so much
miss her little kitty touch
does she miss me does she care

oh I miss her kitty stare
do you have a little time
would you like to ease my mind
talk for hours and never stop
chop your head off
be a lighter person
brighter person nicer
but you've heard it all before

(chorus)
so ding dong
there's the doorbell hello man in white
he's gonna make you all well
getcha through the night
but hey now
you don't feel better
as you take your fresh bromide
maybe this man of letters lied

let me tell you 'bout a dream I had the other night
you were in it boy you sure gave me a super fright
I was walking down the street
downtown by the DMV
you popped out behind a door
it was odd you were on all fours
do you have some time to spare
you were barking at a bear
it said hey you'd better stop
chop your head off
be a lighter person
brighter person
nicer
but you've heard it all before

(chorus)
so ding dong
there's the doorbell
hello man in red
he's gonna make you all well
getcha into bed
but hey now
you don't feel better
as you wake and slowly rise
maybe this smooth jet-setter lied

(instrumental break)

stick around one minute more
I'm smarter than you think
do I sound like an old bore
oh man it's just the drink
I didn't always hit the gin
there were times when I fit in
they'll never know how much I tried
did I tell you my cat died
do you have a little time
would you like to feel sublime
run away and never stop
chop your head off
be a lighter person
brighter person
nicer
but you've heard it all before

(chorus)
so ding dong
there's the doorbell
hello man in black
he's gonna make you all well
there's no going back
but hey now you don't feel better
as you drift off in the tide
maybe this jack the ripper lied
and you died