Every day I get a little smarter
Watching the reruns of "Welcome Back Kotter"
Vinnie Barbarino and Laverne and Shirley
I've learned a lot from Larry, Moe, and Curly

Yeah, TV's great, but I'm your superhero
Like John Wayne and Bobby DeNiro
My 10-gallon hat fills up to 11
Well, I'm the action figure that you want to take home

And the cowgirls sing along
Ro-rodeo, Ro-rodeo, Ro-rodeo
Love is one big rodeo

Downtown it gets pretty dirty
My white shirt turns grey by 10:30
A country boy looking for a showdown
In a hip-hop, shoot-cop, hootenanny-hoedown

When the stakes are high the boys step aside
Now it's time to let the big dog ride
Mr. Greenspan smiles and the bulls run wild

And the cowboys sing along
Ro-rodeo, Ro-rodeo, Ro-rodeo
Love is one big rodeo

Every day I feel a little randy
Watching the re-runs of Three's Company
Krissie and Janet and Mr. Roper
You never know, Jack Tripper just might get laid

And the cowgirls sing along
Ro-rodeo, Ro-rodeo, Ro-rodeo
Love is one big rodeo

*Ends with a round of "Rodeo" to the tune of "Row, Row, Row Your Boat"*