It's 1986 I'm in the first grade
I'm workin really hard to get Mario laid
I gotta save the Princess
so he can get the pussy
Believe me, Mario would get that ass

so fuck Luigi
Mario really wants to get her in bed
So bad that he's bustin up bricks with his head
He just wants sex, so forget the wedding bells
Jumpin on little mushrooms and turtle shells
Droppin down green pipes and secret passage ways
Makin his move to the end
where the final castle lays
Eat a magic mushroom grow a little higher
Eat a white flower and spit balls of fire
All these creatures that attack him
Cut Mario slack
Oh shit hold on I'll be right back
I'm gonna beat the game if it takes me all summer
It's gotta be hard to get laid if you're a plumber
That's why I'm gonna work extra hard for my man
And get him to the end
so he can stop using his hand
Mario doesn't wanna get hit he'll shrink
Princess won't fuck a little kid, I think
So stay grown and attend to your own
And eventually the Princess will attend to your bone

Save the Princess quick
Because she wants a dick
And if you let her free
You get the pussy

Bowser's trying to get head right now from the Princess
But if it's up to me that shit'll stop this instance
Cloud people throwin little spike animals
Green plants with teeth that attack like cannibals
I heard nobody yet runnin the Princess's oven
And Mario always says "Virgins, I love em'"
I hate the Koopa Troopas so I'm gonna run up
And jump on the back of their shells till I get one-up
I'm gonna keep playin and I'm never gonna quit
Cause some kid in school told me
you could see the Princess tits
I wanna beat it before any of my friends do
So I can say I put pussy upon Mario's menu
At the end of each level I jump and get the flag
And say to myself "Another castle in the bag"
I hope Bowser's ready cause he's in for a ride
And Mario's serious when it comes to homicide
The Princess is a freak even though she has class
Mario will take a plunger and put it in her ass
I hate the cannons that shoot at you constantly
And I hate platforms that fall out from below me
It's all worth while just to see Mario smile
Standin next to the Princess' butt naked profile
That's why it's my say to get Mario laid
Super Mario Brothers best game ever made