I have loved only to be soaked in guilt I have loved only to slowly kill her Cuz I'm sick Queer Infected with dysphoria I constrict A snake Afflicted with paranoia The cards showed hearts and diamonds But the dice turned such promises into lies Proving that words are just words unless done And are always meant to be broken and not kept but merely spoken to relieve torment A morale booster in a forever called moment
And I'm so frustrated for being betrayed and blinded by my own beliefs that fantasies can be a part of reality when they're nothing but fiction A figment of my imagination Humble apologies I failed.... When all meant nothing but regrets As worthless as I am As worthless as ill get I'm left only with its aftertaste Of what used to be the sweetest But I don't blame you or hate you For you might just have been blinded too By some instances, circumstances, maybe impulsiveness Or by the coincidence of walking and sharing the same pipe dream of happiness But why neglect and abhor and ignore me more and put a wall as if nothing happened at all? If only ratification was an option and pride out of the picture things may not have gotten out of hand but instead nurtured When all meant nothing but regrets As worthless as I am As worthless as ill get I'm left only with its aftertaste Of what used to be the sweetest My best was never good enough I tried I gave I have loved only to be soaked in guilt I have loved only to slowly kill her Cuz I'm sick Queer Infected with dysphoria I constrict A snake Afflicted with paranoia I'm the stigma, the filth, the sin Whom she fell in love with I'm the curse, the lie, the pit Where she slipped, trapped in / I'm the trauma, the misery, the fear Etched in her fate, her tears I'm the failure, the disgrace, the waste Addicted to her taste Fate squeezed forever shorter into a year, a memory As a retribution for my imperfection Sewed it inside my cushion Filled it with pins