I spend my days watching TV with a beer
(ooh-ahh, you're fat)
This seems to have caused my upper belly to appear
(ooh-ahh, you're fat)
Then one day, my woman went and left me

(she did not want to sleep with a whale)
She said she found someone more manly
(a body that could not fail)
So I went and I looked into the mirror
(you look like a big tub of goo)
And I dreamed of being big and manly
(dreaming is the best you can do)
I though to myself, what would I ask for
(if someone gave you a wish)
I think I'd like to look like my hero
(he's one big manly bisch)
I want to look like Arnold Schwartzenegger
I don't want to be fat and weak, oh no, oh no
I want to look like Arnold Schwartzenegger
I want a manly physique
I put down the cheetos and I went on a crash diet
(carrots were all you ate)
Then I noticed that my skin was turning orange
(you're just a big mistake)
Then I overdosed on diet pills
(too bad you did not die)
Still I want to look like my idol
(the great big beefy guy)
I want to look like Arnold Schwartzenegger
I don't want to be fat and weak, oh no, oh no
I want to look like Arnold Schwartzenegger
I want a manly physique
I bought myself a weight set and some steriods
(to make you big and strong)
And I worked out really really hard
(but it did not last for long)
I put out my back, and the steroids made me sterile
(not like it mattered anyway)
And about looking like my hero
(he has one thing to say)
I don't want to look like Arnold Schwartzenegger
I don't mind being fat and weak, oh no, oh no
I don't want to look like Arnold Schwartzenegger
It's easier being fat and lazy
You'll never look like Arnold Schwartzenegger
You'll always be fat and weak, oh yes, oh yes
You'll never look like Arnold Schwartzenegger
You are fat and ugly