Twas the night before Christmas 
when all through the house 
Everybody was stoned 
even the mouse 

Man from the courthouse 
and me from jail 
I just settled down 
to get a piece of her tail 

When all of a sudden 
I heard such a clatter 
I tripped on my dick 
and busted my bladder!! 

I went downstairs 
and what did I see?! 
A fat little red fagget 
hangin from a tree 

He stuffed the stockings 
with reefers and beer 
And a big fat hairy dick 
for the family queer 

That's the end of my story 
Funny wasn't it, ya see? 

She didn't even... 

She didn't see my thing behind ya 
leave ya for this private eye 
I was there to give'em near to my 
zima zima mommy fah 
I'm gonna say this 
hope it don't offend ya 
came to the grizma 
give'em a taste of me 
give'em a little excitement to the damn monkey 
your monkey can stay with me 
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ahhhh ahhhhhhhh 

Chevy took my brain 
same old motherfucker sucked my dick that day 
he will never zima zima 
never never not that day 
I'm really sick of all this excitement 
yeah, but he thinks he's better than me 
uma zooma nooga dunga 
you can suck my dick all day 
one, two, three, four 
Santa can suck my dick all day!!