She cooks with lard
Loves hot food bars
A quart of sweet tea
And fried pork skin
Can't get enough
Eats till shes stuffed
Goes to the bath room
And then she comes back again
She thinks she looks just like Maddona
When she runs her greasy fingers
Through her bleach blonde hair
Most times she'll place another order
And lordy have mercy
On that little bitty chair

She's got a butt bigger than the beatles
Eattin' me out of house and home
Her booty size
Well it oughtta be illegal
She has a hard time sittin' on the throne

Hamburgers, hotdogs, cheese fries, and colslaw
A dozen bear claw yum yum yum

Loves sausage links, hates diet drinks
Takes up both seats in a two seater car
Her doctor said lay off the bread
But he didn't say nuthin' bout a snickers bar

She drinks sweet milk by the gallon
And she'd never eat a salad or a lean cuisine
Then she'll lay spread out on the hammoc
After she's done her damage at the dairy queen

She's got a but bigger than the beatles
Folks make fun cause she's over grown
Her rumps shack like a voltswagon beetle
She gives new meaning to the words big boned

Bagles and cream cheese vaniller ice cream
A tub of whip cream yum yum yum

No you won't find her name on the weight loss of fame
Down at jenny craig's
When she cleans 'em out at the waffle house
They'll bring in more ham and eggs
Eww eww eww

She's got a but bigger than the beatles
Her favorite food is chocolate ding dongs
She's wide enough to play line backer for the eagles
Deon sanders better leave her alone
Try chicken that's baked or a fat free milk shake
For god sakes stop the insanity

Weight watchers yeah
Weight watchers yeah
Yeah I watched her weight
I watched it go from one seventeen and a quarter
When i married her
To three hundred and seventeen and a half
Two and a half years later
mooo
But I still love you hunny