(Sung to the tune of "Deck the Halls")
Terrorize your little brother,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
He's the one to gag and smother,
Ha ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha.

Kill him by asphyxiation,
Egh-egh-egh, egh-egh-egh, ech-ech-echh,
Then go give him constipation,
Uhng-uhng-uhng-uhng-uhngg, euh-euh-euh-eeeeeough.
With gags and coughs and violent sneezes,
Ugh-ugh-ugh-ah-choo, ah-kheeeeew, ah-choo!
He'll catch many weird diseases,
Ugh-ugh-ugh-ah-choo, ah-kheeeeew, ah-choo!
Destroy his pupil and his iris,
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
He'll catch some rare deadly virus,
Fa la la la la, ah-choo, ah-choo!
Then remove his other cornea,
Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah!
And kick him way out of the state of California,
Wha-wha-wha-wha-whack! Ta - ran - ta - ra!
Watch his giant melanoma,
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
Soon progress to carcinoma,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
As a final means of torture,
Ha ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha.
Play a spiritual harming sorcerer,
Ha ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha.
But beware, it may be fatal,
Ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-aaaahhhhhhh!
He'll begin
Life again
In the devil's cradle,
Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee, hee-hee-ha-ha!
Watch his afterlife infernal,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
As he writhes in pain eternal,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
I'll jump for joy, as I am free now,
Fa la la, ha ha ha, yay, yippaa!
No longer shall he bother me now,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.