There must be something new to do
The dentist's kengo, and have a little Aggro
'Cause he can take it out on you..
Aahhhhh....
(Open wider please)

Aahhhhhhhhh....
(And a little wider)
Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhh....
(This won't hurt)
AAAHHHarghhhhhh...
(Much)
(To the tune of "Rivers of Babylon":)
There's a dentist in Birmingham, he fixed my crown
And as I slept, he filled my mouth with iron
He said "Rinse out your mouth, with the medication spit it out
In the receptacle by your side, on the right"
(Gurgle)
NO! The RIGHT!
(Gurgle, spit)
(Original song:)
No-one would listen to the smurfs in prison
So they jumped over the wall
But policemen saw them, he chased them
Caught them, this is what he asked them all:
(To the tune of "The Smurf Song":)
"Where are you all coming from?"
We're from Dartmoor, on the run
"How did you work out your route?"
We followed the arrows on our suit
"What were you in Dartmoor for?"
We borrowed a safe from the bank next door
"and why do you all talk this way?"
Cause we're from Ketford,aren't we? Uh!
Laaalaaaa (etc...)
(To the tune of "Matchstalk men":)
With big rosettes and coloured scarves
They go to cheer their favourite stars
They all look forward to their Saturday's
There's one young lad walks down our street
With Bovver Boots upon his feet
And an aerosol can of paint he freely sprays
And he painted Grandad's Bike and next door's cats and dogs
He sprayed a couple on the corner of the street, they were having a snog
He fell down on his can, and his aerosol wen't 'bang'
And all they found was a flat cap and his gloves
(To the tune of "The Smurf Song":)
Lala lalalalaaaa Lala lalalalaaaaa etc....