Rock it hard, rock it steady
Pick yourself up and get yourself ready
Wave your arms let me hear you yell
We're gonna rap about General Hospi-Tale

It started out in Port Charles town
Where Frank Smith's mob used to hang around
No one could prove that he was a crook
Till Luke stole his little black book

It had names and numbers all in code
So Luke and Laura had to hit the road
They had to find the left-handed boy
Watch their step, they had to be coy

The gold involved was worth so much
Others wanted it like Sally and Hutch
But there's one thing I must confess
Sally was a man who wore a dress

Luke kept his cool, he ain't no fool
He set them both up cold
Well Sally died, Hutch survived
And no one got the gold

"Paging Dr. Noah Drake to ICU to treat a case of heartbreak"

They keep me waiting
I don't mind waiting
Don't call me crazy
No I'm not lazy
My day won't go right
I can't sleep all night
My hands start shaking
My knees start aching
I just can't cope without my soap

General Hospi-Tale
General Hospi-Tale
Umm, number one
General Hospi-Tale
You're my worst affliction
General Hospi-Tale
You're my favorite addiction

Monica likes to have her fun
That is why she had a son
She told Rick he was the dad
Soon found out that he'd been had

"There's one thing that you can give me that Leslie can't and that's passion"

Alan was the father, of course
And he won't give Monica a divorce
Rick wants to get Leslie back
Heather's havin' an insane attack

"I'll get Diana Taylor"

She's not crazy, uh-uh, no never
She just wants to get Dr. Jeff Webber
Jeff wants Annie for his wife
But he might have to wait all of his life
Cause good girls don't, and Annie won't
And you all know what I mean

Amy Vining likes to blab
Richard Simmons helps fight flab
Susan's having Alan's baby
Noah wants Bobbi for his lady

Well Luke got another job
The Quartermaines are the brand new mob
Laura's the receptionist
What's missing now is the Ice Princess

"Yes, Luke Spencer, please"

Diamonds, not gold, are in it this time
Scorpio, the house of Cassadine
On and on and on it goes
How it ends up nobody knows, cause

They keep me waiting
I don't mind waiting
Don't call me crazy
No I'm not lazy
My day won't go right
I can't sleep all night
If I don't find out
It blows my mind out
I just can't cope without my soap

General Hospi-Tale
General Hospi-Tale
Umm, number one
General Hospi-Tale
You're my worst affliction
General Hospi-Tale
You're my favorite addiction

General Hospi-Tale
Addiction, addiction
General Hospi-Tale
Addiction, addiction
General Hospi-Tale
You're my inspiration
General Hospi-Tale
Gonna stay tuned to this station
General Hospi-Tale
Addiction, addiction
General Hospi-Tale
Tell me what's goin' on
Did you see it today?
General Hospi-Tale
Tell me what's goin' on!
General Hospi-Tale
Addiction, addiction
I love my General Hospi-Tale