(Kinky Friedman, Rick Goldberg, J. Maizel)

While traveling through the Lone Star State
I lost my lunch before I ate,
It happened in a pull-ahead café. Yahoo!

I felt my bones begin to crunch
I saw my name on the businessman's lunch
And the neck who owned the place stepped up to say:
â'‚¬?Hey buddy, are you blind,
Say, partner, can't you read the sign ?â'‚¬?
We reserve the right to refuse service to you,
Take your business back to Walgreen's,
Have you tried your local zoo ?
You smell just like a communist,
You come on through just like a Jew,
We reserve the right to refuse service to you.

Well, I walked on in to my House of God
Congregation on the nod,
Just chosen folks are doing their weekly thing.
Hear, O Israel, yes indeed,
My book was backwards, couldn't read,
But I got a good rise when I heard that Rabbi sing,
â'‚¬?Boruch atoh Adonoi,
What the hell are you doing back there, boy ?â'‚¬?

We reserve the right to refuse services to you,
Your friends are all on welfare â'‚¬?
You call yourself a Jew ?
You need your ticket and your tie
To zip your prayers on through,
We reserve the right to refuse services unto you.

Life from Laos and Cambodia
No more tears tonight they showed ya
The latest old war movies on TV.
You know it's bound to escalate
So go and turn on channel eight,
Watch channel seven border channel three.
Well, I won't mind your tanks and jets and jeeps
And speaking on behalf of all my fellow creeps:

We reserve the right to refuse service to you,
Right, face, forward, move
And get the children, too.
Let Saigons be bygones,
Don't you blow this world in two.
We reserve the right to refuse service to you.

Well, it's just my luck that God's a Texan
One big sonbitchin' Anglo-Saxon,
Some crazy tall Norwegian bore
Just to help my body shipped air-freight
From Texas to the Pearly Gate
Just ring the bell and leave me at the door.
I'll be somewhere over Jordan swinging low,
I'll hear them tape-recorded angels in lifelike stereo

Singing,
â'‚¬?We reserve the right to refuse service to you,
Take your business back to Walgreen's,
Have you tried your local zoo ?
Our quota's filled for this year
On singing Texas Jews,
We reserve the right to refuse service to you.â'‚¬?